January 2009
43 posts
2008, You Were Great
In 2008, I gained weight, a license, an alcoholism problem, and a boyfriend. I lost a job. I stopped hating my Mother. I started to publicize and advertise this blog. I was hugely satisfied by the Presidential election, but mostly, the way my bangs hung on my face for the majority of the year. And frustrated by college applications. Once again, I stayed a cynical bitch. Once again, I did not clean...
Charger Fan
Garrick: I think we should round up all the Cowboy and Raider fans and put them in some kind of camp.
Jamie: Like we did to the Japanese?
Garrick: Yeah. But more like what the Nazis did to the Jews.
December 2008
39 posts
“You don’t have a soul.
You are a soul.
You have a body.”
– C.S. Lewis (via littlemiss)
Nina Simone - I Wish I Knew (How It Would Feel to...
Error
I had led myself to believe that the application deadline for NYU was January 15th, as it was last year.
Yesterday, Ziada made it known to me that they’ve moved it to the first.
Because I never got around to asking the counselors for a reccomendation, I can’t apply.
I suck.
It wasn’t likely that I was going to be able to pay the tuition fee — lest I start selling my...
Dogs and Decisions
I have two German shepherds named Lulu and Jenny. (I didn’t name them. If I had, I would have avoided a name so close to mine. Whenever my Dad yells for “Jenny”, both the dog and I show up at his feet.)
They’re both very large, very female, and very neglected. At least, by me. They’re actually my Dad’s dogs, but with his absence, they aren’t getting...
Damn It
I was blogging in my sleep last night. I can distinctly remember writing while I was half-conscious, too tired to get up and type, but too inspired to actually black out.
And now I’m just annoyed. I can’t remember the words, the revelation, I can’t even dig up an inkling of the subject.
Damn it.
Merry (Day After) Christmas
Since I rolled out of bed this morning, I’ve made spaghetti (I had a craving), ate three plates (don’t judge), and stared at the mess Christmas made after it left late last night.
It’s nearing three in the afternoon, and I’m starting to think I should check pulses. The rest of my family members have yet to wake up.
I’m attending an overdue White Elephant on Sunday,...
Sunday
On Sunday, I ran into every single boy that I’ve ever had relations with. All on one day.
Too much of a fucking coincidence.
God hates me.
letsbeglad:
Sufjan Stevens - Put The Lights On The...
Christmas Spirit
My mother-related problems have a domino effect.
Although the gashes caused by her have healed properly (leaving only a scar that provokes interesting tales at cocktail hour), tiny disputes arise from time to time with the pain from years prior at the root of it.
While I’m not going to divulge too deeply into today’s details, I just wanted to publicly announce that… people...
Blog
I’ve got nothing to blog about. My life is a routine that I don’t particularly enjoy.
I sleep half the day away and can’t really remember the half that I am awake for.
Typical Friday
Depart high school premises, not to return for two weeks
Greet Boyfriend for the first time in multiple weeks
Meet three friends at a food establishment for several minutes
Surprise a Somalian for her birthday
See Boyfriend at friend’s house
Drive home
Emotional fight with older sibling
Tears
Screaming
Dramatic exit
Recollect and assess event with the company of blog
Realize...
3AM
I woke up to the sound of attempted whispering and intermittent chuckles about half an hour ago, and after five aggravated minutes, I dragged myself out of bed and into the living room to see who was talking loud enough to wake me from my slumber.
Let’s refresh. 3AM. Thursday morning. That time of the night where no matter where you are or what you’re doing, you approach everything...
Tristan Prettyman and Jason Mraz - All I Want For...
The Ghost of Christmas Past
No, I’m not talking Dickens. I’m talking about the ghost of my Christmas past.
I received a text today on my drive home from school, to which I replied, “Who is this?”
After a moment of processing, I realized that I recognized the phone number. My ex-boyfriend is back in town.
Multiple years of mental torment and physical pain led me to the conclusion that the only way...
Every Single Person I've Encountered Recently
Person: So, how are your finals going?
Jamie: I'm still in high school. Ask me again in June.
Remember
During a silent — and partially drunk — ride home to San Diego at two in the morning, I fished around for small talk with a friend, Dan. I asked him what the appeal with Daft Punk was, since his speakers were blaring their music.
After a quick pause, Dan went into a speech about the unique quality Daft Punk has in their music, in their style of performance, and even for their time. ...
Portugal. The Man - Created
I’m shivering,...
“You know… your Mom left me, and then my parents left me, and I felt pain,...”
– Dad A few mornings ago, I walked into the living room and found my Dad cleaning my grandparents’ altar; the incense, the frames, the wine. He started talking to me, a conversation I now realize was actually for him to justify certain things to himself while simultaneously teaching me a life...
Countdown
I know this completely contradicts my last post about how I actually liked high school (actually, that was too strong. I meant how afraid I was to leave high school), but weeks like this remind me how much I need to graduate. Now.
High school is a federally-mandated purgatory, sprinkled with bullshit busy work and adolescents who surrender to their overwhelming need to belong.
A week and three...
Alicia Keys - Superwoman
I got the As I Am album...
Pills
I hate being sick. I’ve been popping Advils and Tylenols as if I were attempting suicide. Can I get a ‘whoop, whoop’ for legal drugs that are ineffective?
But, at least with the illness and my workload, I’ve forgotten to eat numerous times this week. I lost almost ten pounds. Can I get another ‘whoop, whoop’ for extremely unhealthy dieting?
Terrified
I had a talk after English class with Teach who revealed something to me that I would have otherwise overlooked. Something so simple and so obvious that it became insignificant in my eyes.
High school is ending.
It’s my Senior year, I’ve applied to a majority of the colleges I want to attend, and I’m a few short weeks away from the end of 2008. Teach imparted some of his...
WatchFairy Tales Project 2008 by Donna Bannavong, Amal Dalmar, Ziada Keflezighi, Jamie Le.
It’s heavy with inside jokes, so unless you have Seminar, you probably won’t understand it.
"Bland"
There’s an itch in my throat. I can feel a cold coming on. It’s probably because I tend to disregard the weather when I dress in the morning.
There’s a hole in my heart. There hasn’t been a single thing that I’ve done in the past few weeks that I’ve felt a part of. The shell that holds my limbs together has been performing daily tasks while I’m...
Camera Obscura - Suspended From Class
The...
“You dress like a teacher… the kind that molests her students.”
– Amna
Boots
I asked Misa to purchase a pair of boots for me when she went shopping on Black Friday, but since they weren’t on sale, she didn’t think anyone would buy them. Acting on her naivete, Misa left my boots at the shoe display and went on her way.
I drove downtown after school today to buy them, and of course, someone had already purchased the last pair during the Black Friday rush.
...
$25,000
For the second time this year, Mira Mesa High School won the grand prize for the Win the Ultimate Prom Contest.
I didn’t even think that would be allowed.
I was so sure that the Class of 2009 would have prom in the gym, but, now that we have $25,000 invested in this event, I might actually have to attend.